Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
