I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
