I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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