It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
