She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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