i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
