hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
