yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
