i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
