You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Terrible idea I love it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
