Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
