Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
