someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Randomize
