11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
