The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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