I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
