i don't like sucking hair
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
