I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
