apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
