oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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