he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
