yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
