I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is wine microwaveable?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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