he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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