how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
