woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
tell me about the eggs
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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