He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
