You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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