So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
foreskin is a definite game changer
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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