Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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