kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
