He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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