i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
