Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
A+ Viking dick
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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