he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
