its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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