Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
