Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
