this beer tastes like vomit already
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
