If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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