Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
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I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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