glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
