Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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