Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
