She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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