I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize