? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
