I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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