My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
