so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
