Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My vagina is officially offended.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
