i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
