You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
two words: eviction party
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I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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