I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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