the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize