The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
