Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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