hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
