Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
