I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I could make wine with my vomit
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
