one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
