Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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