i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
