I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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