3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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