We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't think brook has ever known best
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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