so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
