a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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