Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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