sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
