Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Everyone says I win the strip club
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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